Gadarene
by gryffindormischief
Summary: Lily and the Marauders decide its time for a prank. Alas, things never go as planned.


A/N: This prompt got super long because it included two phrases and I like to make things _way_ more complicated than necessary, ha. Flux should be updating soon ish? Like next few days. In the meantime, enjoy some Marauders + Lily mischief.

* * *

James eyed the lingering fourth years suspiciously over his shoulder, lowering his voice drastically to less than a whisper, "Are we all clear on the goal?"

"Doing something completely meaningless just for laughs?" Lily snorted, winking at Remus.

Shoving her shoulder, James scowled, "I can un-invite you."

Lily narrowed her eyes, tossing a plush velvety cushion at James with enough expertise that he once again internally bemoaned her refusal to go out for Quidditch, "Actually, Sirius invited me so he'd have to do it."

"It's true mate," Sirius put in helpfully, or unhelpfully depending on who you asked. He then tossed his hair out of his eyes and flopped back, lounging sideways on one of the cozy stuffed armchairs positioned around the fireplace, unaware of the longing glances from the other Gryffindors throughout the room, present company excepted.

Tossing Lily's projectile toward the individual _previously_ referred to as his best mate, James made to respond, only to be interrupted by Peter from his place halfway beneath the table, socked feet warming by the orange flames swirling in the brick fireplace, "Can I ask why we're having this conversation _here_?"

Remus looked up from the password protected parchment containing their rather extensive plans for the deceptively simple prank, "Because, it would look suspicious for Lily to go upstairs with us for any extended period of time."

"Yeah, Moony's right. People might get… _ideas,_ " Sirius confirmed with a lascivious grin and wiggling eyebrows, in case his dramatic intonation wasn't enough to convey his meaning. James blushed and ducked his head, ruffling his already messy raven locks nervously.

Not acknowledging Sirius beyond a roll of her emerald eyes, Lily began plaiting her hair, ribbon tucked between her teeth as she spoke, "'Sides, your dorm smells."

Without asking, James tugged the satiny azure strip from between her teeth, smoothing it between his fingers. Once she'd finished the plait, he gestured for her to turn, proceeding to tie a slightly clumsy but solid bow around the end. Lily's cheeks colored as she whispered a quiet ' _thank you'_ over her shoulder, toying with the frayed edge of her jumper. James coughed out a barely audible, _'welcome._ '

Unbeknownst to the two rather tomato like conspirators, Remus shot a look toward Sirius, raising his brows meaning fully before turning back to the task at hand, "So. Partners?"

Perking up from his lounging position, Sirius slammed his feet to the floor, "Prongs and Evans." He pointed a slim finger in their faces in case his emphatic declaration was unclear.

James blanched, shooting a nervous glance at Lily, "Sirius, cut it out, we don't-"

Placing a calming hand on his knee, which James eyed in stupefaction, Lily cut in, an unreadable expression, "Nah. I think Black is right. We'd work well together."

Looking smug, Sirius shared a triumphant glance with a smirking Remus until Peter interrupted the foursome, gesturing to the worn parchment in his lap, "If we're going to do this, we've got to do it soon."

Remus slapped his knees as he stood, gesturing toward the portrait hole with his head, lank mousy brown hair slipping into his eyes, "Off we go then."

With a casual salute, Sirius pulled Peter up from the ground rather forcefully, "See you two mad cats later."

Eyebrows shooting into her hairline as the trio departed, Lily turned to James mouthing, ' _Mad cats?_ '

Clambering up from the floor, James shook his head, smoothing his trousers down his lanky legs, "Muggle Studies does weird things to him."

Lily gathered up her notes, tucking them away in a secret pocket of her rucksack, slipping it in on the lowest shelf of the rough-hewn bookshelves that flanked the homey fireplace for safe keeping. James lingered, eyes slipping over her crouched form appreciatively, albeit with relative innocence. When she rose, Lily grabbed his sleeve jumper sleeve, fingers just brushing his wrist, causing the color on James' cheeks to rise embarrassingly. Once again ducking his head, this time in hopes of avoiding Lily's gaze, James pushed his glasses up his nose with a knuckle, failing to notice the red head's dancing eyes and the slight upturn of her rosy lips.

With a short, quick tug, Lily started toward the portrait hole their comrades had exited moments before, mindful that Sirius Black was not one to appreciate delays in mischief, "Off we go Potter."

Their quick strides soon gave way to a speedy jog, and eventually a full on run as the duo made their way toward the site, footfalls echoing harshly off the stone walls, shadows just visible in the flickering torchlight. As they arrived at the first corner, James threw out a slightly gawky arm in front of Lily's heaving chest, "Got to check for teachers…or Filch."

Nodding, Lily grumbled, " _Not_ fair that they got the map."

Content that they had a clear shot to the next turn, James started forward again, pace slightly slower now that they'd made up lost time, "Sirius likes it when I get in trouble."

Lily snickered, peering around the last turn before nodding at her co-conspirator, "And I'm sure getting _me_ in trouble wouldn't be a loss."

"True that, Evans," James agreed, coming to a halt in front of their quarry, "So any ideas?"

" _Plenty_."

A half hour later, three pairs, as well as a few trios, of suits of armor had been placed in various… _compromising_ positions together with only minimal swearing and sweat. Lily stepped back to admire their handiwork, subtly eyeing James' concentrated gaze and wiry muscles. Looking around, half expecting Sirius to jump out and catch her in the act, Lily blushed and shook her head, "So remind me why we can't just levitate them, Mr Wizard?"

Shaking his head, James continued his attempts at positioning the metal suit, "That makes it too easy Evans. See, for a prank to be really _worth_ it," he paused, grappling with the unruly armor, "Er- this one is real hea– care to help Evans?"

"Nah, your scrawny arms could use some beefing up. 'Sides, I already did my share," she answered unrepentantly, gesturing toward the trio of knights locked in a heated embrace.

James snorted, turning to look at her over his shoulder as he propped the armor up carelessly, "Maybe you could-"

Before he had a chance to continue, the suit fell with a crash, taking the young Gryffindor down with it. Lily had rushed over as soon as she saw the heavy object slipping, reaching James' side when it was too late, " _Shite James."_

He answered with a rather pathetic moan that Lily'd have taken the mickey for if she hadn't been overwhelmingly grateful for any sign of life from her fellow sixth year. Whipping her wand from her robe pocket, Lily quickly levitated the armor off of James, scooting close to his side on her knees as his eyes opened behind cracked and bent glasses, " _Yeah_ , 'shite,'" he paused, raising a hand tentatively to the bloody slice on his forehead, "Kinda… _woozy_."

Laughing quietly, Lily stroked his slightly dusty locks back from his forehead, "Yeah. Don't worry I'll-"

"Lily you're _so_ beautiful," James breathed as if seeing her for the first time, awe evident in his angular features, hazel eyes slightly unfocused behind metal rims.

Blushing to the roots of her hair, Lily's mouth opened and closed soundlessly, eventually squeaking out a barely audible, "James I-"

Suddenly, horror crossed James' face, quickly overcoming his dazed, lovestruck expression, "Oh _shite_ , we're friends now and I already made it weird _last_ year and then you let it go and now I've done it again…"

His babbling quickly descended into low, unintelligible grumbles, presumably filled with self-recriminations and slights on his own intelligence, until Lily placed a cool hand over his lips, "Oh James. You were never _just_ my friend."

Lily felt his mouth slip into an uninhibited grin beneath her fingers, her own lips mirroring the expression, as he gazed at her, eyes still questioning, "Yeah?"

Her affirmative answer was cut off by a muffled sound from James' pocket. Without pause, he reached inside and tugged out a small mirror filled with Sirius' face instead of his own. The young Black sighed, " Oh, I was half hoping the delay was because one of you started snogging the other."

Remus appeared in the left corner of the mirror, stroking his chin thoughtfully, "James _is_ on the floor looking rather rumpled."

Both fighting blushes by focusing on righteous indignation, James and Lily made to speak at the same time, with the former getting his question out first, a low growl, "Is there a reason-"

Slightly disappointed at the abrupt end to their banter, Sirius scratched his aristocratic nose, "Oh er, yeah you guys are making quite the racket up there."

Pushing into a sitting position, Lily's hands supporting him helpfully, James leaned against the uneven stone wall, "So? Pete's handling Filch, right?

As if on cue, Peter came into view at that moment, face bashful, "Bad news mates, I got held up by Myrtle."

The three Marauders groaned in disappointment, Sirius muttering something about forgetting to watch for rats next full moon, while Lily's crimson brow furrowed, "Why were you in the girls bathroom?"

All four turned their gazes to a cool looking Peter as he shrugged his rounded shoulders, "That's neither here nor there."

Remus shot him a look that seemed to say they'd be discussing this breach of protocol later, before he turned back to the mirror, "It would seem, based on this new… _intelligence_ and the map, that Filch is dragging his sorry arse your way."

"And you've got about two minutes to get out of there," Sirius drawled, not looking up from the worn parchment.

Slight panic crossing Lily's face as she took in their surroundings, she pulled the mirror from James' white-knuckle grip, "It's a _dead end_ though."

Peter sniggered, " _Exactly_ , your end will be dead."

"Stuff it Peter."

Sirius let out a bark of a laugh, "Yeah Wormtail, stuff it. Evans says so."

"If you don't cut it out I'll have _Padfoot_ stuffed," Peter shot back, punching Sirius' shoulder.

Expression clearing, Lily's mouth widened into a toothy smile, "That lovely dog? I call him Snuffles and he loves it."

All three boys turned to quirk their brows at Sirius, who scowled, turning his attention back to the map, "Filch is almost there, so stop mooning over dogs and staring at me and get a move on."

With a final huff, Sirius unceremoniously stuffed the mirror into his pocket, the last moments before disconnection were filled with Remus' laughter, " _Snuffles?"_

Deciding questioning their antics would come at a later date, when certain caretakers were not stalking them through the dank halls, Lily turned to James, slipping the mirror back into his robes, "Do you trust me James."

Shifting slightly from his slouched position, James ruffled his hair, "Er- I guess so."

Lily nodded, sizing up their surroundings once more, the slim window with starlight just visible, erotically arranged suits of armor, and not a classroom or broom closet in sight, "You can't get anywhere fast in your condition."

James conceded the point with an inclination of his head, waves of dizziness rushing over him in the process. Lily continued with all the command of a battle wizened general, "Here's the plan…"

Mere minutes later, Argus Filch limped into the hallway, Mrs. Norris' lamplight yellow eyes glowing in the shadows, only to find Lily Evans alone in immaculate corridor, her face a mask of distress. "Mr. Filch, you wouldn't _believe_ the ruckus! First years gallivanting through the hallways yelling!"

Filch's face crumpled inward in confusion as his feline companion slinked from the shadows curiously.

Undeterred, Lily plowed forward, fighting to push the mischief from her wide green eyes, "Well don't you worry, I sent them right off to their heads of house."

"Oh," the caretaker replied, disappointment evident in his voice, "I prefer to deal with the little snot nosed brats myself but-"

Lily batted her eyes, hands clasped behind her back, wringing them her only indication of nervousness, "I just know you're _so_ busy Mr.-"

A tinny sort of sneeze that echoed down the hallway cut off her sickly sweet statement. Lily fought the urge to glare at a certain swaying suit of armor as Filch's eyes sharpened again, "What was that, girl?"

Rubbing her nose, Lily answered quickly, "It er- was me, I'm fighting quite the cold."

Another sneeze followed her statement, Lily, ready this time, faked a sneeze, "The castle can be quite drafty this time of year."

The caretaker narrowed his eyes, grinding out slowly, "Alright, get on out of here," he paused, eyes scraping over the hall once more, "I'll be sending Mrs. Norris to check up on you."

"Of _course_ Mr. Filch, just doing my duty to the school."

Harrumphing, Filch limped away, Mrs. Norris managing to send Lily a withering glare before following silently in his wake.

Once satisfied that they'd truly departed, Lily strode over to a nearby suit of armor, lifting the visor with a creak, "Bloody _hell_ James can't you-"

He rolled his hazel eyes, spectacles slipping down his slim nose, "Why don't _you_ try hiding in a dusty old suit of armor."

Lily flicked him between the eyes expertly, "Don't be such a baby. Now lets get you out of those things."

James smirked spectacularly, teeth pearly in the dim light, "All you had to do was ask, Evans."

"I _will_ leave you here."


End file.
